Dear Meghan Trainor…An Open Letter In Response To ‘Dear Future Husband’


Dear Meghan Trainor,

Hope you’re keeping well. Congratulations on your success so far you definitely know how to write a catchy pop tune. Just writing because I feel like complaining about your music to friends isn’t fair, I may as well address my grievances to you.

It starts with your debut single. I didn’t really take to ‘All About That Bass’ because, well I don’t have much of a bass so I can’t “shake it shake it, like I’m supposed to do” and I guess that means guys won’t like me because “boys like a little more booty to hold at night” right? So I didn’t get the whole ’empowering’ message you meant to send with that song.

The real problem, and the reason this letter came about is because I just watched the video for your latest single ‘Dear Future Husband.’ I’d already heard this song because I had to review your album and when I first heard it I was horrified and now you’ve released a video for it. Curiosity got the better of me and I just had to watch it. Basically the song is an open letter to the man you’re going to marry listing the criteria he must meet in order to catch your interest. He should “take you on a date” and not forget “flowers every anniversary” because if he treats you right you’ll “be the perfect wife and buy groceries”. Of course even though you’ve bought the groceries and are the perfect wife you’ve “never learned to cook.” He has to treat you “like a lady” even when you’re “acting crazy” because “you’re never wrong” so “why disagree”? And of course, you say “Buy me a ring.”

meghan-trainor-scrubs-kitchen-floorI shouldn’t have to explain what’s wrong with every single lyric I just referenced there but clearly I have to because you don’t know. Being a perfect wife isn’t about buying groceries. Being the best wife you can be is about loving, respecting and supporting your partner. Also, why haven’t you learned to cook? It’s a great skill. Being able to feed oneself is a pretty important thing that everyone should know how to do even at the most basic level so never learning how to do that isn’t something to boast about. There’s too much wrong with the lyrics and the video for this song to justify it with a doo-wop beat and some cutesy 50s styling.

Now some comments underneath the Youtube clip are claiming this song is satirical. That’s the only way it makes sense but even if it is, it’s still offensive. Using satire, telling sexist jokes and passing flippant remarks are the problem. It keeps sexism alive and doesn’t allow for feminism to keep moving forward. By writing this I’m opening myself up to comments from people saying “Stop taking it so seriously” and “It’s just a song who cares?” but this needs to be spoken about. The way we listen to and accept lyrics of pop music needs to be spoken about and seriously reevaluated.

meghan_trainor_background_free_downloadPop music is mostly consumed by teenagers and young adults – these people are your target audience and you’re slapping them in the face with stereotypical gender roles that can be seriously damaging to those who don’t feel like they fit in to what you’re talking about. Maybe this is “just a pop song” but we need to realise that it might mean a lot more to the 13 year old who’s worried that she’ll never find someone to love her because she’s naturally thin or the 19 year old who knows how to cook and is ashamed to admit it because it’s not cool. Why can’t we just be the hell who we want without songs on the radio constantly telling us we need to shake our asses and have “all the right junk in all the right places.”

Society is continually becoming more accepting and progressive but there’s still a long way to go and the media has a huge part to play in this. We tend to internalize what we’re constantly exposed to and it’s only when you see young girls going around singing songs like “Dear Future Husband” or even the more sexually explicit ones like J-Lo’s “Booty” you really see what damage “just a pop song” can do. So Meghan, I urge you to be a part of the change. Tell us all about your talent, how much hard work goes into your job. Tell us that you’re confident and that you’re happy with how you look without excluding those who don’t look like you. Don’t change yourself, just change your lyrics.




9 thoughts on “Dear Meghan Trainor…An Open Letter In Response To ‘Dear Future Husband’

  1. Thank you for writing this letter. Meghan Trainor has always bothered me. It’s mainly because the first song I heard from her was a skinny shaming anthem and sent a dangerous message that women still need to look a certain way. I’ve never heard “Dear Future Husband,” but it seems clear that she’s continuing to send negative messages to her audience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Rebecca, glad to know this article resonated with you. It’s important to start a discussion about songs like this that are constantly being played on the radio and like you said sending negative messages to audiences. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re welcome. 🙂 I completely agree that it’s so important to speak up about songs like this and the negative message they send. Their music is so popular, and many young girls may assume that her lyrics are how girls should truly feel.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Definitely and the sad thing is it’s probably a lot easier to name damaging songs like this than it is to name some truly positive ones. For some reason it feels like pop music is moving backwards in the messages it omits and is getting away with it by hiding behind a catchy chorus.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I completely agree. It does seem like pop music is moving backwards. It seems like a couple decades ago the popular music was more empowering towards women, and now it’s all about women looking and behaving a certain way. It’s dangerous and unhealthy.


  2. The is about someone expecting a husband to meet all her needs, whilst whittling off a whole load of her unattractive qualities. That’s the joke. It’s clearly a criticism of that kind of hypocrisy, it’s not really about gender roles specifically at all.

    It’s very fashionable to jump on the I-hate-Mega-Trainor bandwagon, but you have to ask yourself, why does she get so much shit? She never claimed her first single was intended to empower women, and for god’s sake, it does not shame the skinny people at all. It’s just a song, and when J-Lo writes a crappy tune about being an object or whatever, no one bats a bloody eyelid. At least Megan is a LITTLE bit more progressive, but she gets SO much more criticism, why? Why are we holding Megan Trainor to a higher standard than anyone else? Is it because she’s fat? Cause it sure feels like that’s the case.

    I also totally disagree with the idea that gender roles can’t be mocked. Pointing out how ridiculous gender roles are is a good thing, highlighting the negative with comedy is how positive change is galvanised. Claiming kids won’t get the joke is regressive and patronising, kids are smart, but that’s neither here nor there, it’s not down to Megan Trainor to teach your fucking kids, that’s your bloody job as a parent, that’s what schools are for. 0

    It seems the skinny people who feel like they’ve been put out by her first single, are just retaliating behind a veil of moral superiority, and to that I say – don’t be so quick to assume the role of the victim.

    The song is really shitty though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Mike, thanks so much for reading and commenting it’s good to see this article is creating a discussion.

      I definitely understand where you’re coming from and she gets so much shit as you say purely because she’s the name behind the lyrics that a lot of women are taking offense to or just not liking. It would be the same whatever name was placed beside those lyrics. And J-Lo definitely received a lot of backlash from her song ‘Booty’ – from me included. I guess Meghan’s name is being used to discuss issues like this because she’s the new pop star, her songs are going to number 1 and are being played more on the radio. It’s not because she’s fat like you say – she is not fat at all!

      Gender roles can be mocked yes, but we need to realise that constantly doing that isn’t challenging anything. Sure teenagers deserve a lot more credit and I hold my hands up for sounding patronising but I feel like songs like this and the more explicit ones from the likes of J-Lo, Rihanna and Nicki Minaj are doing nothing but allowing for a certain acceptance that goes along with mocking and passing off sexist comments as jokes which isn’t doing anyone any favours.

      Her first single does try to be empowering. If it doesn’t then what is it about? The criticism surrounding that song is that it should be more accepting of every body type. Why can’t so called fat and skinny people both be desirable? There’s been a movement from fat shaming to skinny shaming and both are completely wrong.

      Again, thank you for taking the time to read and comment I always welcome criticism and challenges to my articles. It means it’s creating a discussion and that’s exactly what this article is intended for!

      Liked by 1 person

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